"Don't be here in ten years." – The Factory Line

Archive for December, 2016

2016 : A Year of Almost, Meh and Maybe

So, 2016 is almost over… thank god!

2016 was a year of Almost, Meh and Maybe. As I’m sitting here with a bottle of lime-flavoured sparkling water and a bowl of milk chocolate kisses (both of which are the closest thing to hard drugs and alcohol I allow myself as a mid-thirties man in his mid-life crisis trying to hit the gym “hard” to get back into photo shoot shape…) I figured 2016 was a mix-bag at best.

So 2016, right? A lot of you may have had a similar year if I’m to trust my facebook feed. This could also be a case of echo-chamber-on-social-media, but given the Trump election…yeah! I think we all went there.

2016 was the year of my first book deal… I was soooo fucking excited. I almost “made it,” Fucking published author. Fuck yeah… but nobody’s buying books and I’m regularly advised to “just start your own you tube channel.” Jesus fucking christ!

In 2016 I took my first plane at 34. I never saw traveling as a necessity. To me it’s always been a waste of money. But I was invited to Bouchercon in NOLA and managed to find a ticket there and back for $400 after working many internet resellers against one another, traveling at highly unpopular hours…only to be in NOLA for a grand total of 30 hours or so…Bouchercon was pretty cool. I want to make it back there for sure…So it’s technically a yeah, but also a meh and I’m actually happy about it so… it’s a MEH with a story to tell now…that counts as a maybe. Let’s call it a maybe.

2016 was the year I made it into a big MBA school. I watched The Big Short and I loved that Mark Baum was angry and that Michael Burry was insane and that Ben Rickert felt downright suicidal. So I said “why the fuck not?!?” I got into John Molson School of Business…YEAH! fucking A! Got a loan for it too…so. yeah! 2016 was also the year I came to the hard realization that a big MBA school was not the place for “the rest of us.” It felt a bit like a con too…still on the fence about that. Anyways! I failed. I don’t care. I failed at a stats class that still taught you things as if Excel had not been invented 3 decades ago… I caught 3 guys plagiarizing on two different papers and I got called into meetings and wrote reports and I failed stats and you can’t fail a class. I left that shit disgruntled and confused and convinced I belonged in the writing world more than ever… That landed me only a few thousand more in the red… so that’s gonna work itself out over 15 years or so…MEH! for that. At least now I know why the whole economy’s fucked and I may or may not have a few ideas about some international/finance thriller shit down the road…still a maybe. (By the way : 2016 was the year I managed to reel in 30% on the stock market… BUT it was in a TMX simulation… I’m still too poor to become rich!)

2016 was also the year where we almost made money. That was all thanks to my wife working so hard for so many months on 3 major contracts back to back to back. So Kudos…Only problem is there’s never any work in winter here, so again, we’re waiting on the unemployment for half our income, so meh!

In 2016 we left the up-and coming and quickly gentrifying neighbourhood of Rosemont. where we lives somewhat happily for 8 years… 2016 was the year we managed to buy a home. But all my savings, my wife’s savings and the backing of my (working class) parents, and we landed back in our old (not so glamorous) neighbourhood… I like it. The gym is hood as fuck, people are working class, got the van broken into while I was away for 30 hours on my first ever trip at the age of 34…, so MEH! The place is bigger than our last though…so almost, motherfucker…almost.

So 2016’s been a years of “almost” but mostly, “maybe.” Maybe the groundwork’s been set up for 2017. Maybe Trump won’t be an asshole. Maybe the economy won’t crash. Maybe the water won’t rise just yet. Maybe Elon Musk’s gonna single-handedly fix global warming.


Iggy Pop’s not dead yet. So Maybe.

Just maybe.



The All Encompassing Meaning of Life

It’s a trap!


And the cake is a lie.



(Those who know will know!)