I’m getting my knuckles done this friday (you’ll get pictures in time) and so, I expect to be stuck answering the typical “tattoos” questions even more often. (If you have a lot of tattoos, you know what I’m talking about.)
1- “Wow, they’re really nice. How did you get them so nice?” – First of all, I didn’t tattoo my own skin, and second, it’s called talent. If your tattoos are shitty, you should have looked for a better artist.
2- “Can your guy/gal tattoo me as well?” – There’s usually 1 to 3 months waiting period for an appointment. Yes, they are that good. If not, well look for a better artist.
3- “Does it hurt?” – The fuck you think? It’s a needle hitting your skin 600 times a minute.
4- “Won’t you like, have a hard time getting a job?” – doesn’t everybody? I don’t fit the corporate profile to start with, so why bother anyways?
5- “How about loans and shit?” – Realized recently that you can apply for mortgages and loans online. The bank don’t want to see your ugly face unless they absolutely have too, cuts down on their costs as well.
6- speaking of costs. “Are they expensive?” – yes. “But like, how expensive?” – My tattoos are worth more than the car I currently own.
7 – “How did your parents take it?” – Mom cried for three hours the first time I got half my arm done. I wore long sleeves for days when I’d meet her. A few weeks later she was proud to show me off to friends, relative and co-worker.
8- “Aren’t the cops/border patrol/judges going to target you?” If you don’t know that law enforcement officers have tattoos too, you haven’t been arrested often enough in your lifetime.
9- “How are you going to get them removed?” – It took 30 hours per arm to do them, I ain’t removing the damn things.
10 – “But someday you will, right?” – You’re a fucking idiot.